November 13th...

I don't take too much time to write these days, but decided to this time around. Here is a glimse of one of my most life changing days...

I remember Novemeber 13th of last year oh-so-well. I can even recall what I was wearing. Jeans, white long-sleeved shirt, black cons and my red Patagonia jacket. Pretty standard for a casual day at school. Parent/teacher conferences where happening, and me being a Teacher's Aide that year, allowed for some relaxing attire while I got to babysit all the kiddos while their parents where getting informed about the school year. All day I sat watching kids come and go..playing..and I caught myself a few times wondering about my future kids, and whether there would be any....

The day ended as I headed inside to the teacher's room to sign my time card. As I opened the door, there was an overwhelming smell that filled my nose. It smelled like a serious broccoli fart. Bad. Rotten. And it lingered. In a real bad way. "Oh, my gosh! It really stinks in here!" Not even thinking that maybe someone might be having a really gassy day and now I was exposing their issue. Oops. But it stank. Another teacher agreed that it did smell. Then the secretary said something that triggered the fear in me..."You can smell that, and you are not even pregnant!"

Pregnant.

The word rang in my ears..Awww shit..it what I was really thinking. Cuz, her comment made my brain go all sorts of directions and I then remembered, I was late. Really late. But I was in denial. This isn't planned. I am not ready for this. I am not married. Does that matter? No. Not to me. But I work at a Catholic school? What am I doing? No, I am not pregnant. Can't be, right? I am just going to go home, take that pregnancy test that is way back in the bathroom cubbard collecting dust, and then I will move on with my weekend. But, good gosh, it really did smell! And why was I really smelling all this nastiness??!

I went home. Took a pregnancy test. No. I took 4. Four.

I was pregnant. And never more filled with an array of emotions. I cried, laughed, screamed. I was silent. I left the test in the bathroom and walked around the house, then returned to check on it. To make sure the lines hadn't changed. Everything the same. I called Julie. She came. She brought more pregnancy tests. I needed more. More. They all said the same thing. Of course they did.

I was pregnant and it was Friday the 13th.

This day, I will never forget. I will never forget the look in Paul's eyes. Scared..just like me. Happy and just plain surprised. I will never forget the excitement too and all the annticipation. And the phone call I made to the doctor begging them for an appointment to yet again, check to make sure I was pregnant. And getting the response, "Honey, if you took four pregnancy tests, you should assume you are pregnant. And we will see you in 3 weeks."


So on this day. I remember you, Kade. The first day I discovered that you were growing in my belly. I love you more each day and will always remember Friday November the 13th of 2009 as the most amazing day that changed my life forever.