Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Dad

It has taken me so long to write this blog, for more then one reason. But truly it seems so hard to write about losing someone you love.

I remember the day we got my Dad's test results back. We knew something was wrong. And when the word Cancer came through on the other end of the phone, my knees went weak, but heart so broken. It took me days to accept the news, I am still working it all through. When we learned of the stage of cancer and the location, it was all I could do to pray for my Dads comfort. And mostly just time. Time to share more memories and laughter, more meals, more time at the park, more conversations, more hugs, more I love yous, more walks, more everything. How would I ever be able to let go of my Dad.

We were given the gift of 6 more months with my Dad. Six sweet months. In these months we had so many meals together, so many family gatherings. Kade and Kinsley getting all the time left they could with their Papa. First steps were taken and seen, first bike rides...many memories made in a short time. For all that time I am grateful.

In February we had to say good bye my Dad. We all held on to his hands, my mom laying next to him as he took his last breath. A moment I will never forget. I life here ended, but another one to begin in what Kade calls Heaben.

I miss my Dad. Every day. I don't know how it is possible not to. I was blessed with the most amazing Dad. Ever.

Just a week ago we took a trip to Washington to do a final service for him. So many wonderful people came to give their respects. So many people who loved and cared for him. The service was beautiful. A celebration of the beautiful life that he spent with all of us.

I love you Dad so much. I miss you. I know you are loving that beautiful life up there. As Kade says, in Heaben floating on the clouds reading a book. xoxoxo